A Working for Love: To bind or not to bind?

Oshun, the Orisha of Love who subdued even the powerful Oggun to her charms
As an iyalosha I have taken hard choices. One of them led me to lose a goddaghter, but there is no regret in my actions. She came to me from another house, claiming unhappiness and with stories of high derechos (fees) for ebbós (workings) and in general, she had grown appart from her godmother.

Godchildren are gifts life brings to you, gifts with strings of responsibility attached. The duty of an elder is to instill the concept of Iwá Pelé (good character). Iwá Pelé is built day to day with our thoughts, words and actions. I try to teach my godchildren to go to bed every night with a balanced score card of their own where they have done good for themselves, for others and harmed none.

All godchildren are different, and this one had her mind set on a man. The man in question was completely uninterested in her as a romantic partner, but she was obsessed. One day she told me about a friend who went to a babalawo in Miami who took pride in subduing anyone for the right amount of money. This babalawo supossedly had helped a male client to break a heterosexual marriage in order to sway the male partner for himself. I was disgusted at her implication.

Days went by and she directly approached me begging for a binding to subdue her romantic interest. I explained to her that no amount of bindings would keep a man at her side forever, those bindings would have to be periodically re-done and eventually, they could even unhindge her partner and bring unwanted consequences. Besides, who would want to have a forced relationship? It is not in keeping with iwá pelé as it speaks poorly of self-respect and respect for the free will of the intended partner.

After explaining that my itá (lifetime reading that guides an initiate) forbides me to do bindings of this nature, to remind her to have selfpride as a woman and to remember the sea is still filled with other fish to catch, I requested the ingredients not for a binding, but for a petition to Oshun (Orisha of love) to bring them together and share their thoughts about each other. Communication, I felt, was key to this relationship either congealing or tanking. I did a beautiful lantern to Oshun which she kept lit for five days and then took to the river. I asked the orisha who rules love and emotions to bring them both face to face within five days and to have them communicate and express what kept them apart and what could bring them together. I asked my goddaughter to set aside expectations and simpy go with flow.

Five days later, he invited her to have lunch. They had a conversation where he stated gently that her friendship was a treasure but that they had little in common to form a stronger and permanent bond as a romantic couple. She was devastated and I was very sad for her.

My actions were not guided just by my morals or my itá, I had also to request Oshun’s permission to do the working. Withouth her blessing, nothing would happend. I had also learned a lesson by oberving a case that my husband took on years ago when a woman came to him seeking the same thing. My husband has no prohibitions like I do, and he reluctantly did the work as he holds Iwá Pelé dearly but this woman was not a goldchild, but a client. Therefore, he made the binding. After a few weeks the man became so obsessed with his love interest that he quit his job just to be near her at all times. He took her to her office in the morning, waited outside sitting under a tree for her to come out for lunch and at the end of the day, and followed her everywhere like a lap dog…even to the restroom where he waited sitting on the edge of the tub while she used the restroom. The woman came back to my husband desperate, he told her she got just what she wanted, the man to be at her beg and call. It was now out of his hands and she simply needed to wait until the working ran its course and wore off as he fortunately did not do a permanent binding.

But back to my story, there was no amount of words to console my goddaughter. She was very mad at me. We spoke in front of Yemaya as she requested the Orisha permission to leave the house. It was a sad moment, I had followed my itá, acted within the scope of a responsible godmother but she had to be allowed to select where to place her trust and so I did say goodbye. Yemayá on the other hand, did not, as she foresaw troubled times ahead. The reading counseled her not to leave…but she was not willing to listen, I wished she would had because the turn of events was not what she expected in the long run.

When it comes to love, the strongest of our bonds with Olofi (God) one must carefully consider as did Shakespeare: To bind or not to bind, that is a question I leave to each Orisha, Voodou, Wicca or Magic practitioner out there.

Oní Yemayá Achagbá

11 Replies to “A Working for Love: To bind or not to bind?”

  1. First of all paz y justicia amor y caridad y nsala malembe malembe yaya nsala malekun malekun nsala a todos. It is a shame but many see a spiritual path such as African derived religions as a tool for protection , brujeria ,amarres and material prosperity only . For i have had people tell me why am I a Palero if I am not doing brujeria. I have been raised around criollo and African religions all my life and i hate going into botanicas because all you see are people waiting for fortune telling for amarres for self material prosperity for brujeria but very very few for the spirit and for spiritual evolution and prosperity. So I can relate to your Ita for I have it in my book of life also and i rather not have no God children than hard heads whom want to stay in a negetive cycle and try to drag me with them even in spirit. It is so true amarres do not only cause spiritual conflicts with the person whom not only has binded the flesh but also the spirit against it’s will so the person whom does the job is taking a little bit from every person and one day they will be judged for that if they know and continue. Why must we humans continue on living in atrasos.(ass backwards) lift yourselves up recognize the temple within and move forward. Unite the spirit with a clean thought breath in and express peace love and gratitude as you breath out. Peace be with you all

  2. Nsalem Malecum, Kolencensia todo tata que cuenda emfuiri, Kolencensia nfumbe bittiti bacheche. Love spells are not as simple as people may think it is. If we believe in the mechanicism call polarity, than we understand what is point of origin. Than we understand what is spiritual quadrant is all about. Alot of times someone get involve with a person who was ok, to be with in the begin because maybe one of your spirits were asleep. Maybe there was an eggun that was not there before, you reclaim after doing some Nsala(cleaning) came back to your life. And than they start to warn you about him or her. Maybe that person have things in his or her lineage that will destroy yours.

    I was with a woman since I was 15 year’s old until I was 28 year’s old, why it ended? I had gone for a reading a Obatala came out screaming saying I am surrounded by liar’s. My ebbo was to buy a horse tail for him, have it wash in omeiro and feed to obatala. So, I did not have ocha so it was done in front of my padrino Obatala Ajagunna. Four weeks after that ebbo was done, I left my wife for good, left the ile, my ex brother in law broke away from the family and the rest is history.

    I could had easily did a bilongo to bring her back but I did not. Why? Mafedefun Obatala had spoken and chango closed the door for those who left never to return back.

    If we truly believe in alignment than we will see that we do not need to tie anyone down, or do spells to make someone who is not destine for you to be in your life.

    Instead you might want to know how to do a love ebbo to attract a him or her in your love life, that will enhance the positive of your destiny. This way you are not focusing on anyone in particular. But, focusing on someone who is clean and will bring upliftment.

    In the Ocha Odu Eji Ogbe-Oshe (8-5), the proverb Lies Brings Evolution. Mafedefun Elleggua

  3. i do not understand please someone explain i am very curious because this spanish lady said Nsala Malekun…Malekun Nsala meant something about the dead but then i read it meant a greeting. then she told another woman oh dont worry i wont send dead to your house i only do that 2 the enemies all of this is new to me

  4. Alysha,
    Yes indeed you seem confused. I don’t know the particulars of the conversation you had or the person you were talking to, so it hard to formulate an informed answer. However, nsala malekun is a respectful greeting.


  5. Is your husband still taking clients?
    I’d really like to speak with him. I disagree with binding permanently, but a partial binding might be what i need to get a second chance. At least hear me out.

      1. Beautiful post. If is possible i’d like to contact your husband Omimelli i don’t want a love bind of this nature because my ex boyfriend still loves me. I’m italian i hope this isn’t a problem.

  6. I need help me and my woman broke up do to black magic i need her back and fast we have 3 months seperate we would have made 14years on agust/3/2014 iwant to bind her to me forever and i need someone real and no games im ready to be with her for the rest of my life because i know we love eachother but thats our problem can your husben contact me please asap

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